Life is moving at pace!

After telling me how he is not dominant, I was quite upset to have this conversation, as how can I be submissive if he wont be more dominant? I was surprised to receive an email, even though it was a jokey one, telling me it was bed time- now! I decided I was still going be submissive, I am not letting this go that easily, so I stripped off and kneeled on the floor beside his side of the bed, he said nothing for a good few seconds then told me get up and stand in front of him while he looked at me. It was fantastic, so arousing and I felt as though I had totally no barriers between him and I.

He then told me to get into bed beside him, he touched me and made me orgasm over and over. Then he told me to please him orally, I was happy to do this, and I leaned over in the way that he could access my back side and after a few minutes he obliged by giving me a short sharp hard spanking. Oh yes this is starting to come together.

Even if he does not yet feel dominant over me generally, I explained how after giving me yet more orgasms this morning he actually is the master of my orgasms, he is now beginning to believe this I think- by the way I ask each time sometimes he makes me wait and when he does it is intense when I finally am allowed to orgasm.

So a pattern is beginning; my kneeling and awaiting his instructions, asking permission to orgasm and regular spanking. He is enjoying all of this, and so am I. He is off work again and is still in bed I will attend to him later.

Sick kids today mean I am up and giving medicines and doing breakfast, I will go back and check on his later.

Kids in bed time to think!

I am trying to work out today.

While he was in the bath today we talked. One of the things we discussed is him shaving me. He told me (yes told me!) to take down my track pants and knickers, to look at me to see if I needed a 'trim', as he likes to call it. He then asked me if I think I need it trimming (NO!! I want you to decide - I want you in control!)
We have done the shaving thing on and off for years, I have loved it, then regretted it like a dirty secret. Like other things, I now feel ready and happy to accept my shaven look and sensation. I love how he shaves me, it feels so personal and special, he makes me feel special. But I do want it to be his domain, and him who decides when it is done, I have mentioned this before. I guess deep down I have been trying to suggest my submission in ways before, I just did not quite realise what it meant.

I have gone back to some of my old ways this eve. I feel different again, I am still looking after my husband getting snacks, food and drinks and looking after my sick kid bless her.

Now I feel a bit calmer maybe reality is beginning again. I am having a few drinks this eve, and I am going to strip for him, when we go to bed. I wonder what is in store this eve?

I have sent him some links to some sites I have been looking through and maybe he will do some reading and get some idea of where I am at in my personal journey.

Haha as I am typing he just hopped up and took my glass asking if I wanted a drink, I asked was he trying to beat me to it? Don't you want me to look after you, he replied he wants to look after me too, got to love him :)

A new day! A great start with husband pleasing me, I asked and received orgasms - I do like asking for them, he makes me wait and it is very exciting indeed. I like this new rule a lot!

A busy day, daughter arrived home from sleepover feeling sick, trip to docs and lots of medicines and she should be on the mend soon. Reality kicked in, how will this work in our real life?

Spoke to husband early afternoon and we had a good chat about how this could work for us. He is loving the bedroom scene, I have asked if I could repeat the strip down and kneel bit again, it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed and like I am giving myself to him body and soul. We will try again and see if he could get used to it.

I will blog later once I have digested some of the other things we talked about.

I think husband is getting bored already. i am trying to talk to him how about how I feel, but I think it is all very hard to for him to take on.

This eve the tennis is on, I really want to watch the final of Wimbledon, he announced that I could come to bed service him and then return to the tennis. I was chuffed as I thought he was still asserting himself and putting his needs first, very exciting. So on entering the bedroom i stripped off and got down on my knees, he found this very awkward, I found it an incredible turn on.

As I began to please him orally, he was very happy, he began to say things like "please" I just stopped, this is not how he is going to assert himself over me, he realised and he told me that unless I began again he would slap my bare ass. I stopped on purpose, he told me he would slap me, I did nothing so he pushed me over his knee and spanked me on both cheeks! After my spanking last night it flipping stung! But I let him do it, as I am trying to please him and to be submissive!

I began again to please him orally, and he was happy, but I think he thinks this is a game. I told him, what are you going to do if I walk away, how are you going to assert yourself. i really want to submit to him, I want to please him but I don't know why I just suddenly decided to do this!!! I know I am hard work, so this is what we are dealing with here.

I am now watching tennis, he has told me as he got such a great blow job I am allowed to pleased my self if I please when I come to bed, so he is trying to be the master. I really want him to be, this will be a long road.

Full Day 2.
Tonight I am writing this after a damn good spanking last night! I showed husband my blog. He looked at me and said you really need to be spanked don't you? I nodded. He waited and we talked, and he said the blog made him understand things a bit more clearly. We turned off the tv and moved to the bedroom, where he then said I should bend over him and begin to pay him some attention! I willingly did, and while I did he began to gently massage my buttocks and started gently to spank me. It was good, not painful at all, and he said I was getting red, I looked over my shoulder and said it doesn't hurt at all, he looked at me and said it felt like a challenge! I laughed and he spanked me hard, boy did he spank me about 6 really hard slaps, 3 on each cheek. I felt myself move as he spanked me, but then settled down to take the next slap. I felt quite proud of myself for taking it and not telling him to stop. He actually enjoyed it, I think he is struggling with guilt about actually inflicting this punishment on me, as he is a good non violent man. Then we made love and it was beautiful.

So this morning he found it hard to look at me as I got out of bed as my butt cheeks are not pretty, I have no idea if this is normal. But I know this -I know I have been spanked! Good and proper. I have told him, that he can threaten me with it if he feels I have stepped out of line, we have discussed a warning word, so if I do get close to being rude or speaking over him for instance, he can say the word so I know, I then have a choice to make, I can continue and end up with another good spanking or I can stop and just be on the warning. So we begin our domestic discipline, I was not sure how it would go, if he would be responsive to it, but he certainly gave it a go last night. I will blog the next time.

Today was a good day, our first trip out to friends, they know I am feeling more submissive, I have told my friend I don't want to fight or argue any more, I am surrendering to him. She just smiled. I asked her if she thinks I have gone mad, she smiled and said I seem happy. She is a good friend. Husband allowed me to drink and he drove today, I was surprised as he would usually do the drinking, so maybe I will get other perks out of being submissive to him, we shall see...

AmissSub: I am a little scared writing this down. It is like...

AmissSub: I am a little scared writing this down. It is like...: I am a little scared writing this down. It is like a final admission of how I feel. I like to be spanked - there I said it! My husband and I...

I am a little scared writing this down. It is like a final admission of how I feel. I like to be spanked - there I said it!

My husband and I have been married for 13 years and 2 kids. We have had a vanilla relationship for many years. I had a normal upbringing, albeit with a controlling father, his word was the last one, I do think my mother lived in a bit of fear. However he left for another woman and it turns out there had been many others. I was determined this would not happen to me. My first real relationship was one with a guy who tried to control me, funny he used to call me "wife." I was 18 and thought this idea hilarious! We were very in love and I did like to please him. However due to his father being alcoholic, I made the break as I could see I would end up as his mother, a gorgeous lady inside and out but not a happy one.

I then moved onto disastrous relationship after another, when one January I met a man. We hit if off and before we knew it we were living together. He never seemed to be possessive or dominant, and that suited me fine, I was not going to be told what to do by any man. We enjoyed experimenting over the years and he has spanked me on occasion and we both enjoyed it. We have had our problems in our relationship, I felt like I had to push for many parts of our relationship, I suggested he move in, I proposed marriage, I almost had to demand children. I have felt that I was in charge of much of our time together. This is not because I felt the need more that he did not demand he was in charge, or maybe I was too aggressive to even be approachable? Recently however I had a revelation after reading Fifty shades lol I realised that I wanted my husband to be in charge, after many years of fighting it, thinking I did not want anyone to be in charge of me. I have accepted that my husband is a good man, and I know he has taken care of me and our family well. I now feel ready to be more submissive.

I am not sure how this will pan out. I have read many womens blogs about submission, I wont be calling him master or wearing a collar, but I am ready to release some of my need for control. I am not sure if I want to be in a DD relationship or if I want to be spanked for my own good, I do know that if he feels it is right I would be happy to consider it. I also know that if it felt wrong for me, he would not do it. That is the most important part of this, he would consider my needs, I will not be bullied or dominated as such, more that I will be submissive to him. We have talked about me becoming submissive, I am not sure how he really feels I find it hard to actually discuss. I have begun this process by making myself available sexually, firstly by sleeping naked. This may sound odd, but I do believe I have used nightclothes as a barrier, this barrier is now down. As a result we have spent a lot of time being intimate. I have never experienced so many orgasms! It is fantastic and he is not a selfish lover he wants to please me, so we both want to please. I by giving him the power within our relationship and him by keeping me happy! A win win situation.